There's no shame in loving to be naked :)

The lights are dimmed, shades are down and your favorite scented candles are burning. The mood is just right to say hello to your monster but is masturbating to porn a good thing or not? To answer that question, yes and no. There is no such thing as good or bad but only consequences of your actions. Every consequence is either desirable or undesirable.Whether the consequences of masturbating are desirable or not depends greatly on your perspective and who you are. It’s not the action in itself that makes something bad but the person who is doing it.If the action (masturbating) in itself was inherently negative or positive everyone would have the same response to it. If getting off to porn was bad for you then EVERYONE would experience negative consequences when they did it but we know that is not always the case. Some have good consequences while others have horrible negative consequences.Most people enjoy labeling something as “bad” without ever thinking that they may play a role in their negative experience. Even worse is that they like to tell others that it’s a “bad” idea-”oh no, you shouldn’t do that!”Negative Consequences of Watching PornThe first negative consequence of watching porn can be a very detrimental one: pre-mature ejaculation. Nothing is worse than waiting so long to have sex and when you finally get an opportunity to get laid it’s over in a few seconds. You dread looking at the girl to confirm her disappointment in your performance.Growing up in a house with other people means that you need to break out some sneaky ninja skills when masturbating. You need to be quick, agile and most importantly not get caught. The fear of getting caught causes you to become speedster when it comes to giving yourself the low five. Get it done quickly before anyone discovers what you are doing or feel the shame of getting caught.Unfortunately this will cause you to cum quickly when you trade in the computer screen for the real thing. Our bodies are good at learning and remembering things. Through muscle memory we learn skills and abilities that surpass conscious thinking. Without body memory no one would be able to play an instrument or drive a car because we would be thinking too much about every little action.Cumming too quickly is the result of training your body to remember to do so. Over many quick sessions your body develops a stimulus response to seeing a naked woman. Your body knows that when you get sexually excited it’s time to have an orgasm.Your body will respond the way you train it to. If, for example, you masturbate very quickly your body will respond by cuming quickly as well. On the other hand if you take your time your body will be trained to wait a long period of time before reaching climax.The mind doesn’t have the ability to tell the difference between fantasy and reality. If you dream it your mind believes it. Whenever you fantasize about sleeping with the girl whose thong was hanging out the entire class you mind believes that to be real. Since you came very quickly in the fantasy your mind will send messages to the body to cum quickly when you run into the same situation in real life.On top of that your mind likes to generalize and lump everything into one nice, neat category. It doesn’t see unique and special tits, it lumps them all into one category. When you train your mind and body to cum quickly to one naked woman it will transfer that programing over to any other women you see.Guilt, Shame and Maddona/Whore ComplexAlmost everyone has been brought up on the idea that sex and masturbating is something to be ashamed of. Through society, parents and religion we have been taught to hide our sexual nature instead of embracing it. The biggest tactic of getting people to hide their sexuality is through guilt and shame. The more guilt you have the less likely you will to engage in fun sexual acts.This guilt and shame is triggered (mostly unconsciously) every time you masturbate. You enjoy it in the moment but shortly after the negative emotions start to come to the surface. You feel guilty or shameful every time you “sin” which leads to lower self confidence.Porn also leads to deepen your Madonna/Whore complex. The programing that you received from church, society and parents helps you to see women in two different ways: the Madonna and the whore. The Madonna is the good girl that you marry and the whore is someone you use for sex.Porn will give you an unrealistic view of sex and love. As much as you logically know that porn isn’t really how sex is your mind will start to see it that way. You will see women as a masturbation tool and sex as a jack hammer exhibition.Masturbating will trigger your guilt and shame which will bring up your Madonna/ whore complex issues. Any woman that is sexual and enjoys sex will be seen as a whore through eyes because of your addiction to porn. If you do sleep with a woman you will judge her and yourself for it-no matter what you do you just can’t win.Distract YourselfPeople have many different ways of distracting themselves when they are stressed out or slightly depressed. When I get into that state I like to do absolutely nothing and just relax. Some like to exercise or drink and some like to get off to Internet porn.There is nothing wrong with taking a break from life from time to time. It will help you to refocus your mind and build your energy back up to handle the difficult task at hand. Taking a break becomes a problem when you use it to completely ignore and distract yourself from what needs to be done.Unfortunately another con of masturbating is that it is used to distract yourself from life’s problem. There is a thin line from taking a break and turning your back to your issues. Far too often people cross that line and become addicted to their distraction of choice.Whacking it to porn is a very large distraction for men who are lacking in skills with women. Instead of taking on this challenge head first they resign to a life of distraction in their fantasy world-”out of mind and into porn.”The problem is that NO matter how hard you try you can never run from your issues. Once you are aware of them there is no going back to blissful ignorance. You can go full force into hiding from them in your porn addiction but they will find you.A Quick Note before we get to the PositivesI never really bought into the idea that releasing male fluids will drain your life energy. I think it’s complete bullshit that having sex or masturbating, life’s greatest pleasures, will leave you feeling drained.To me, it seems like the notion that cumming will take away a man’s energy stems from the Church’s belief that masturbating and having sex is a “sin.” It’s essentially the same type of ‘this is bad for you’ programming that the Church is perpetuating.On a genetic level our goal as individuals is to perpetuate the species through sex. We want to live long enough to pass on our seed to as many people as possible. With that said, it seems wrong to believe that our basic design is flawed and our instincts got it wrong.We are born to fuck and enjoy sex. We feel drained at times after sex not because we are losing our ‘male energies’ but because we aren’t in great shape. If you worked out and ate right you wouldn’t feel any energy lose.It turns out that sex is life affirming. Not having sex will cause you to become very anxious and unbalanced. “that guy needs to get laid” is said for a reason. His neurotic behavior can be balanced out by enjoying the basic of needs.If you have bought into this new age spiritual bullshit that cumming is a bad thing get that out of your head right now. Some of you who can attest to this belief are experiencing a placebo effect. The body reacts to your minds beliefs. If you believe you will feel drained after you cum your body will act in accordance.Positive Consequences of Watching PornThat was a long list of negatives but there is some good that can come from watching porn. For starters, it feels damn good. It allows you to release some of the pent up tension and anxiety that rage through your body.Standards are extremely important when it comes to mastering women. If you give it away for free no one will want it because has little value. Developing standards can be quite difficult if you have been a ‘I’ll take what I can get’ type of guy. Porn can be an easy first step to integrating a higher set of standards.Most men will jerk off to just about anything. Swim suit models, porn stars, naked women in national geographic magazines, it’s all the same to them. If the guy is remotely attracted to the erotic image he will get off.Start by identifying what type of women really turn you on and stick to it. What do you like? Is it blonds, short girls, tall ones, punk, goth, black, white? Me personally, I like the type of women that you see on suicide girls. The typical blond bimbo you see gracing the cover of playboy does very little for me.From there you can start to develop an appreciation for beauty vs. ‘oh my god, she’s so fucking hot.’ When you find a girl that really does it for you take time to appreciate her beauty. Don’t focus solely on her tits and ass. Enjoy her entire body and learn to appreciate how beautiful women really are.Greater AwarenessI mentioned before that masturbating can bring up a lot of unresolved issues to the surface. Consciously masturbating and being aware when they do come up will allow you to transcend them. Without being able to spot your problems you won’t be able to change.Once you can see and feel your issues the next step is to let them go. Here’s a little exercise that can help you out:**note: this exercise may sound a little airy fairy but give it a try and you’ll see why I recommend it***Lay down on your bed or in a chair with your spine straight and place your hands on the middle of your chest. Breathe deeply and close your eyes. Imagine yourself sitting in a peaceful and serene environment. You are sitting down in front of a river in a wooded area.Breathe deeply as you think of what is holding you back. If your issue is ’sex is a sin’ reach up into your solar plexus (above your stomach, below your rib cage) with white hands and take hold of those words.Take the words ’sex is a sin’ and bring it all the way up your spine and out the top of your head. Imagine placing the issue into the bright, white running river. Watch as that issue floats along the white river and disappears.Repeat this exercise over and over until you have removed your issue. This exercise can be preformed on any belief, thought or emotion that is less than healthy.Increased Sexual EnergyDo the following exercise lying down flat or in a chair with your spine straight as it can be.Start by breathing very very deeply and very slowly through your nose and into the lower part of your belly. Breathe deep enough to the point where you feel it in your PC muscle (area between your genitals and your ass). Then slowly breathe out of your nose releasing the air.Once you have that down, imagine white light coming into your nose from the outside, down your front and into your genitals and a little bit into your legs. Once your belly is full with air slowly breathe out imagining the white light coming up your spin, all the way to the top of your head and out. Then bring the white light down into your belly and up again.This exercise should be done throughout the day but especially during sex. It will help increase your sexual energy as well as your orgasms.Last Longer In the SackFast pace masturbating can cause premature ejaculation. Watching porn while you take your time and breathe deeply will allow you to last longer. You will see exciting images and not blow your load.For exercises to help you last longer sign up for the Inner Game Reframe Newsletter on the right and you will receive a free copy of my ebook-How to Lead Her Sexually. The ebook is full of exercises and insights to help you become a better lover.

It might take a little coffee or probably a few rounds of beer or any other booze you could get your hands on when it comes to relaxing after a hard day’s work. Well, yeah I’m guilty about that one as well, unless I’m caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor.Just don’t ask how it happened, please.But what’s really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this ‘mind-over-matter’ thing.Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what’s been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it’s better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he’s bound to mock the subject and you’ll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.Woody Allen has this to say:1. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.” It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn’t have to take an arm and a leg to get it.2. “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.” ‘Nuff said.3. “There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?” This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life’s little problems isn’t all that bad, until ‘he’ shows up.Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you’re talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.4. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.” And if you want more, just keep on asking!5. “A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said ‘no’.” It sounds, ‘practical’, I think.And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn’t involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.6. “Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.” I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.7. “I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” If it rains, it pours.8. “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” It could get worse when you’re guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!9. “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” At least he doesn’t smite us with lightning, and I’m thankful for that.And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can’t seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we’re religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.10. “The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”Ciao!Note:These articles are free to use on your blogs, article sites, website or wherever.So long as you leave this lower section legally in tact.Thankyou for reading my articles…

For most bands it’s hard to get noticed in the opening slot. Most of the fans haven’t arrived yet and those who have are anxiously waiting to see their favourite band. So how does your band get noticed? Well for a lot of opening acts, it takes a lot of time and experience and most fail in the process. The following tips though, can help your band get noticed and on your way to a killer live show.Energy

This is where most bands are lacking. Think of your favourite band live and you will feel that electric energy that was generating throughout the venue. Most inexperienced, and some experienced, bands just hit the stage and play their songs mostly standing around like statues. This is not exciting for the general music fan. You may think that you just want the music to speak for itself and it can. That’s what CD’s are for. This is live entertainment and you should treat it as such.

You don’t necessarily have to run around the stage like you just drank 47 Redbulls, but you should get into the music enough to have some energy. Simple things make all the difference. Move from one spot of the stage to another, put a foot up on a monitor and lean towards the audience, and if your feeling up to it even try a jump kick when the song goes into high gear. The more you play, the more comfortable and fluid these antics will feel.Connection

Most bands also find it hard to connect with an audience. Start with the foundations. Try to make as much eye contact with the possible fans as you can. Move towards them. Feed off of their energy.

Try and practice some segues pre-show. If a song of yours has a background storey to it, tell it to the audience. Just try to keep it short and concise. Think of some back and forth banter to have with the audience. Finally, if all else fails, come up with some kind of contest idea that involves the audience in some way either on or off stage. Even a free CD of your band that they’ve never heard of can be enough incentive to participate. Plus you may gain a fan out of it.

Introduce your band, as well as its members, throughout the set. This way people will remember who you guys are. It makes your band seem that much more personal/approachable. This way people will stop thinking about you as “that guy from that band”, but instead will know you as “Jim, the lead singer of Wilderbeast”.Banner

Get a banner with your bands name and logo printed on it. The banner acts as a 30 minute, to an hour infomercial of who your band is (depending on the length of your set). This way even if people start arriving half way through your last song, they may like what they hear and know who your band is so they can see you play next time.Gear

Try and get at least 2 of every instrument and have them tuned and ready to go before you go on stage. Nothing drags a show out more than a sloppy guitarist who can’t tune his instrument or breaks a string. Try and get more instruments if your band uses multiple tunings. Borrow guitars if you have too.Shtick

When all else fails get a shtick. Wear makeup, cough blood, play naked, whatever you think it will take to get your band noticed.

Always remember that when playing live, your music may only count for 50 percent of the performance. Draw influences from other aspects of your life whether it be theatre, movies, or even other live acts outside of your specific genre.

If your anything like me, try and remember when music first took a hold over you. Odds are, when you were alone in your room, you would crank the volume of your favourite band and jump around your room playing a tennis racket guitar pretending that you were playing a sold out Madison Square Gardens. If you’re able to recreate that level of passion for music, your band will surely get noticed. I just hope that your songs don’t suck!